Before all this heavy life happened. Eleven-months-old Leon.
It was my Solar Return seventy eight days ago, on August 10th. My birthday.
Instead of counting my curses as I was pushing mid-forties, I wanted to invoke my guardian Archangel’s guidance.
Failed. Couldn’t receive it. Stole the joy of life out of the one person who supports me in my physical life.
I became an etymological Lunatic on that day; the Full Moon, actually a Super Moon glowing ominously at its perigee, affected me overwhelmingly negatively as it was opposing my natal Sun, Mars and Midheaven, and squaring my natal Saturn and Moon. We would be lucky if that was all. Both Plutonia and I have too many harsh aspects going on against us for many years now. Even the most benevolent planetary influences have never been able to materialize as such, blocked by too much sabotage, hatred, rampant mental illnesses in both our families of origin, all this in Greece of all pseudo-Western countries; in Greece where survival and the continuation of life has always depended on family support and strong social networks with ties to the political high places. No such things for us; ever. Only systematic destruction of any opportunities that had ever started flourishing thanks to our personal efforts against insane obstacles.
“I AM”. This is the motto of any decent Leo Sun person, and I am a strong representative of my Sun sign. “I KNOW” encapsulates the Aquarian worldview, and Plutonia has been toiling all these years with me over one book-translation assignment after another, generously offering her knowledge, passion, research skills and deep insights on anything, for nothing. Our enthusiastic readers and critics were not “nothing” of course, but we were just two names for them (in the best case; if we were not ghost-writing, that is), we had been slaving away for peanuts and there was no way we could achieve any degree of financial independence. But even my Leonine self-worth has been mercilessly torn down since the onset of the debt crisis. If as a citizen you are not somehow plugged in to the corrupt state (good people are, too; some innocently and ignorantly protected souls wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise), or if you cannot somehow leave the country, you are doomed. Greece is now the poorest country in Europe even officially. The staggering effects of poverty on a taxed-to-death population cannot be measured in a statistically objective manner; the reality is incomparably harsher than any governmental data could ever help any external observer suspect, but even a cold poverty report is much-telling if you know that behind the numbers and charts there are real human beings suffering like the old woman shown here with her empty refrigerator: 300 factual words on the latest poverty report which was published on September 25th by the Greek government. Ghandi was right. Poverty really is the worst form of violence.
When your entire life has led to your standing naked in an endlessly raging storm with nothing to hold on to, sometimes it certainly seems that the whole universe conspires against you, and you cannot keep yourself, or let anyone else keep you, from cascading into the depths of Hades. I never really had any fun on my birthdays, but this year’s was the worst one I ever had. Plutonia and I thankfully made up without being traumatized by my episode of unbearable pain, because holding any more traumas inside us would be impossible. So many ugly developments here have made our life into a protracted painful experience, keeping us exhausted and beaten down, our bodies aching and unable to rest, and I could not share this part of my healing journey earlier, dear friends. It took me too long to put it down here in a meaningful and balanced way, while having to be constantly remaking myself.
Sadly most fellow humans are not allowed to complete what each one of us has really come here for, but I firmly believe that despite all this darkness, there is only wisdom in the bigger picture we cannot see. Please know that I have been keeping my faith (and supporting Plutonia against her mortally blackmailing relatives to the best of my abilities), thanks to the warmth of your lives touching mine, that I extend my healing energies to you daily, for you to be kept protected and strong, smiling amid your own sufferings, sometimes even crying with gratitude.
I am spiritual, not religious, but I honour as kin, I infinitely love and I fiercely defend anyone who believe with their hearts and find meaning and comfort in any religious faith.
With the poetry that follows, I release my birthday pain to be cleansed in the ethers of eternity, some of it passing through you and carrying away some of your own pain to be cleansed with it.
My guardian Archangel is Michael, a powerful Being of Light, my protector and instiller of divine courage.
O Great Lion of God,
Ruler of Fire and Solar orb,
Angel created first of all,
Leader of all the Archangels!
Protect me, give me courage!
Physically and psychically I shake,
I cannot stand this anymore
and let alone help others.
Am I not ready to depart?
Must I keep up this struggle?
What use is following my truth
when all around me is crumbling?
For no system pawns, life here is hellish!
You leave abroad, a torn-down hero,
or if you can’t, you are doomed to perish.
Birth rates of Greeks are down to zero.
There is no life, no prospects here,
only enslavement for some of the young.
I just don’t know how to survive,
“I” who was never “someone”.
The fighter in me is crying for help.
You conquered Satan himself.
You taught Adam survival.
Could you please help me now achieve
my personal revival?
is at your keeping.
UNGRATEFUL LITTLE OLD SOUL!
Ungrateful Little Old Soul!
You think you’ve had enough,
when all that has befallen you
is inner growth through trials.
I have been by your side all along.
I know how much you suffered
growing up ill, dead to the world.
Stop counting your curses.
Jacek Yerka, Fever
You don’t want another birthday?
Oh, that’s not very nice.
Just wait and see what lies ahead;
you won’t believe your eyes.
Are you not smelling cherry pie?
Your twin soul is baking for you!
She never could afford buying you gifts.
Do not finish her off with your despair.
She’s trying to help you on your path,
you’re too tired of life and so is she;
she hangs in there, you want to leave.
You’ll make her give up on herself if you don’t heal.
She never tricked you into a thing.
You saw that storm above her head,
and soon what she called “parents”.
You were just as honest about your folks.
She recognized all hell moving against you
and never let go of your hand.
You’ll honour your agreement!
When tempted to think
she doesn’t understand you,
remember she’s not your enemy,
neither are her blackmailing relatives
nor is anyone else. No, “the worst by far”
are not my words, but do look in the mirror.
Spare me that eye roll.
Was living with yourself
ever a country stroll?
So you are stripped below the essentials.
Since when is Being not enough?
I see you lost in starless nights.
What a creator you’ve become!
Listen to me please, will you?
cannot and will not
kill all this Love you are.
War on humanity will not.
Evil itself will not.
See the Higher Realms in others,
and never ever feel alone, for there are
many peaceful warriors like yourself;
some of the finest, soul mates of yours.
Do honour your agreement,
carefully please, gently, gracefully,
with each one of them.
You can help them all remember
if you are lovingly aware
of your glorious
part of All.
Feel My Wings Around Your Soul
towards the light.
The other way.
Taxiarch Archangel Michael, Μιχαήλ, מִיכָאֵל , “Who is like God”
To Leon of SolitaryThinkers,
August 10, 2014
O O O
O O O O
So much extra ugliness has been unmasked here since my birthday, dear friends, that the war seems to be over for good for us now. We are faced with an ever direr set of circumstances, and we are already defeated. It’s not any sort of failure on our part that there’s absolutely nothing more we can do, in the Protestant work-ethic sense of “doing”, to undo the consequences of all that has brought us here. I do not wait for miracles to happen; each and all of us are miracles and we attract all we need. Life is an educational illusion, and if we must go on here, we will. I sense that we must. I just don’t know how we can be resurrected into a human society we never lived in. That’s a quite tragic situation for any middle-aged individuals anywhere, let alone in Greece today.
Please do not ever punish yourselves if you feel you are losing your way. Keep on lovingly working on yourselves without ever beating yourself up for any failures of yours. Our world is under too many spiritual and physical attacks. Some of you feel too heavy inside. Do not burden yourselves with guilt or feelings of inadequacy to prevent loved ones from leaving this world. Our essence is immortal, unbound by space or time. This is such a blessed fellowship of kindred souls because each one of us is aware of our divine nature. Keep up the fight and let us all keep on truly loving and fiercely supporting one another at every precious moment.
My very first post, published on the 2013 Winter Solstice, was Because We Cannot Stop For Death. I honor a very special person there, with whom we have not managed to maintain contact because of all this hell with Plutonia’s destructive paternal family, but I wouldn’t have discovered her without Plutonia. It’s Willow I am talking about. Our wisely anarchic and hard-working Canadian sister Willow of Willow’s Web Astrology has been helping me and especially Plutonia immensely through her free articles for years now, even without us ever having been able to afford a personalized reading. Our understanding of astrology wouldn’t have reached this level without her soulful approach. It doesn’t matter if you are a beginner or advanced in your study of astrology; her unyielding spirit and spot-on insights will offer you a truly healing experience. Here is a video showing Willow during a radio show in 2012; jump to minute 8:00 please, where she talks briefly about the four primary asteroids. And then click on her logo below and follow the instructions to purchase a personalized reading by this amazingly intelligent, self-taught and unaffiliated, socio-politically educated and passionately humanitarian astrologer who can jump-start you into a journey of self-discovery. Thank you so much, Willow; trudging on here would be so much harder without You.
Before you leave this refuge for now, dear friends, shall we work together beautifully for a while? As you listen to this healing spiritual music below, connect with me and with everyone who matters in your life, especially with those souls who get easily lost in dark places. Let our hearts be lifted up with gratitude and light up the world with a joy as pure as this eleven-months-old’s at the beginning of this post. Always love.