The other day in the meditation you said something like, “This is as good as it gets”, and there was a really subtle… like a recoil in me, you know, like a… Oh, but I want more… kind of a feeling; even after all these years and all these retreats. So. Just wondered if there was anything you could say on that.
Even if you were to acquire the experience, the ultimate experience, for which you long, you wouldn’t want it for long. You’d get bored of it and want to replace it. How many people have found the partner that they longed for, all their life, only to separate two years later, or twenty years later. Sooner or later, even the best object we can imagine, fails to satisfy us. Now we blame the object or the person, but it’s not the object’s or the person’s fault. No object can satisfy us.
We project our longing for happiness onto objects, and for as long as that object seems to fulfill us, we say, “I love that object”, or “that person”. But as soon as the object or the person ceases fulfilling us, we say, “I dislike them” and we leave.
No objective experience can give us the lasting peace and happiness for which we long. We have to, at some point, we have to see that, to look that fact in the face, clearly.
No objective experience… no marvellous relationship… no wonderful teacher… no particular state of mind… no condition of the body… no state of health… no state of wealth…
None of these…
We have to see, clearly, sooner or later, that none of these will give us happiness.
As long as our desire for happiness is invested in objective experience, we will always be trying to replace this experience, with that experience.
But when it is really clear to us, no experience will bring us the happiness for which we long, then our motive to replace the current experience with a new experience, begins to diminish.
[Sweetly] I don’t mean that we no longer have desires…
that we don’t think, I’d like to go to the movies or see a friend.
But our desires are no longer motivated by the search for happiness.
They come from the sense of fulfillment; they come from our peace.
Now that’s what I meant when I said, “This is as good as it gets”:
this current situation… there is nothing that is not present
in our current situation that would prevent us
from being fully happy in this moment.
And that is true of every moment.
In every… situation…
In every situation.
Just see that what you essentially are, this naked being, is inherently fulfilled.
No thought, feeling, sensation, perception, activity, or relationship
that any of us have ever had, has ever added anything to our essential being.
Our essential being is in exactly the same pristine condition now,
as it was when we were five-year-old children.
Nor has any experience,
any awful or painful experience,
diminished or harmed or hurt our self.
But all that is necessary is
to see clearly that our self is self-fulfilled;
it is not fulfilled by an object, or an other;
to know that that is the place of peace;
that is the place of resolution;
that is the place of fulfillment;
and to stand as that;
not to move towards that, in your life;
but to stand as that, to move from that.
You can still desire activities and relationships,
and enjoy activities and relationships; thoughts and feelings.
But not as a source of happiness.
As a means of expressing and sharing and celebrating your happiness.
And when I say “happiness”, I don’t mean that you have to be singing
and dancing; I just mean the sense of being at ease.
What John Cline called “the ease of being”.
I Am. There’s nothing missing, in this moment.
That’s what I mean by “happiness”.
I feel complete. Full.
I don’t need anything to fulfill me, or fill me up.
To move through the world,
from that point of view.
To meet people,
not as potential sources of love, or happiness.
But just to meet people, just for the sharing of our being.
And people will feel it immediately.
When you meet someone, and
you don’t want anything from them;
you don’t want to be fulfilled by them;
you don’t need to receive love from them.
Just having that attitude –you obviously don’t verbalize it, but–
just having that attitude, the other will feel it. Immediately.
They will feel so safe. They will like to be with you.
Because they don’t feel that you are projecting onto them
the impossible demand of producing happiness or love, for you.
And as a result,
this friendship will be a true friendship;
it will be a true sharing of being,
whatever form that sharing of being takes.
And if there is this true sharing of being,
then it is an intimate relationship.
Intimate relationship has nothing to do
with whether you’re sexually intimate or not.
You can have very intimate relationships
with people that you have no physical contact with.
And likewise, you can have sexual relationships
with people with whom there is no real intimacy.
What we long for
is not sexual relationships.
It is intimate relationships.
And it is intimate relationships,
just the sharing of our being,
without any projection or expectation.
And that is the quality of friendship that we share on these retreats. It’s why friendship is such an important part of these retreats; it’s why we have so much free time to go for walks, and sit around the fire chatting, and to have meals, and… It’s because this… this friendship is the… It is the magnification and the sharing of our being.
Rupert Spira transcribed by Leon Hieros